6.13.2005

What I've Learned from Celebrity Trials

There have been 4 major celebrity trials in the past 10 years: O.J. Simpson, Martha Stewart, Robert Blake, and Michael Jackson. Here is what I've learned:

If you are a (male) celebrity you can: (1) slaughter two people, virtually decapitating one, have blood in your SUV and on your socks; (2) shoot your con-artist wife yourself after trying to hire others to do it; and (3) repeatedly molest young boys — and get away with it all.

If you are a (female) celebrity, especially one that people think is a bitch, you CANNOT (1) make misleading statements about a financial transaction — WITHOUT going to jail for 8 months.

Makes sense to me.

(I no longer dislike Martha Steward, by the way.)

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