When the Revolution comes....

....These people will be first up against the wall:

• People who use that Nextel "walkie-talkie" feature on their f***ing cellphones.

• Michael Jackson

• F***king stupid people that think that MJ is innocent — how can someone be so f**king stupid?!? They should be prevented from reproducing!!!

• Ty Pennington, host of "Extreme Make-Over: Home Edition" — that guy needs a serious beating first, though.

• George Lucas (#1) for 2 disappointing prequels.

• George Lucas (#2) for making Greedo fire first in the Cantina in ANH (Han fired first!!); adding that horrible girlie scream when Luke falls off the platform in ESB; and changing Darth Vader's subsequent line from an angry "Bring my shuttle!" to a bloodless, stupid line.

• George Lucas (#3) -- Midichlorians?!?! What the f**k were you thinking?!?? Thanks for wrecking my childhood, jerk.

• Tom Cruise — if only to save poor Katie Holmes!

• The person who will eventually cancel the best comedy on television, Arrested Development.

• Bill Gates, for (a) intellectual theft and (b) foisting an inferior, crash-prone, error-ridden, spy-ware vulnerable OS on the world (except those of us who use Macs, and are thus "saved").

• The whole Hilton clan, for obvious reasons (see previous posts).

• Tom Delay and the radical Republicans.

• Weak-willed Democrats who traded their spines and ethics to become transnational corporation whores.

• The guy that wrote "I Believe I Can fly" and the other guy that wrote "Butterfly Kisses at Night."

• Whoever started Starbucks.

• Scientologists.

• People who write to the FCC to complain about nonsense.


Anonymous said...

wow shawn, you are pretty hardcore in your hatred towards stupid people. I agree with everyone that you wanted to kill, except maybe Bill Gates, but i mean couldn't we spare their lives? I think it would be better if we just elimated all religous people altogether, this way here they could all be non-discrimiatly grouped together

Shawn said...

This was, of course, mostly facetious -- with one or two exceptions ... As I said in my first post, this is the place for me to empty my bile! :)